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    Issue #61

    Article posted from CollegeHumor (http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1756980...)

    Each issue is funnier than the next.

    Unwittingly Accurate Reactions to Unfortunate News
    -"You're schizophrenic? that's insane!"
    -"You have OCD? That's so neat!"
    -"You got a vasectomy? That's nuts!"
    -Conor McKeon
    State Trivia
    Did you know that the flag of Texas has only one star on it? It's Steve Guttenberg.
    -Brian Agler
    Dinner
    When I go out for dinner I like to order steak, because it's the only meal that comes with a compliment from the waiter: "Here's your steak, well done".
    -Nick Nemeroff
    NASCAR is a lot like life
    It's long, boring, loud, it goes around in circles forever and you are always surrounded by idiots.
    -Fred Gunkler
    Reasons why Seth Rogen and James Franco smoked weed on the MTV Movie Awards
    1. To forget that they appeared on the MTV Movie Awards
    2. To make the MTV Movie Awards seem funnier than it really is
    3. To be too baked to accept an invitation to the Teen Choice Awards
    -Tanner B
    Convicted Felon Humor
    I think if you rape an ape, you should be called an apist. I don't want people thinking I rape women, that's just sick.

    -Nick Samet
    Steve Jobs Keynote Speech Excerpts if Apple Existed in...
    1442: "This is a printing press, it is a bookbindery, it is an iron plate, and best of all -- it can do all three in a single day."
    1892: "Zinc casing. Carbon Granule Transmitting. This tele-phone does it all, and guess what, it only costs 2 cents." (Roughly $9.1M today.)
    1964: "One more thing... this computer is only 9 feet thick and is barely audible three houses away."
    -Amir Blumenfeld
    How Much Ya Bench?
    I don't know. About once a month?
    -Patrick Cassels
    Phrases that lose all meaning in the afterlife
    - This cake is so good, I'm in heaven.
    - Thank you so much, you're a saint.
    - He's with God now.
    -Kevin Corrigan
    Click here to submit your own 105%.
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    Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by 105%-o-matic  from Bucks County Community College

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